Common Ground Rules
Some common ground rules are:
- Use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘we,’ ‘you’ or ‘they’ statements. Express concerns in a manner that invites others to hear, not in a manner that invites defensiveness.
- Listen actively. Try not to let your mind wander or think about what you’re going to say while others are speaking. Avoid interrupting.
- Share air time. Try not to dominate the conversation.
- Use considerate language. Avoid using labels whenever possible.
- Feel free to ‘pass’ if you are not ready or willing to speak. Try not to pressure others to speak.
- Confront misperceptions and mistaken ideas without accusing others of being racist, white supremacist, etc. Instead, ask open-ended questions that gather more information without judging (i.e. What led you to think that?).
- When there is a disagreement, keep talking. Explore the disagreement and search for areas of agreement (common ground).
- Feel free to express your feelings when you have been offended or hurt.
- Inquire rather than assume you know. Ask clarifying questions when you are inclined to make assumptions; ask genuine questions when you are inclined to persuade or argue.
- Be open to changing your mind. This will help you really listen to others’ views.
- Don’t waste time arguing about points of fact.
- Respect confidentiality. If you talk about your dialogue experience to people outside of the group, refrain from using people’s names or sharing their personal experiences.
- Make a good effort to attend all of the dialogue sessions.
(from Public Conversations Project and the Study Circles Resource Center)
